the laughing gas

listening to black steel, tricky, on the 22, at night. Seems she blew me off on my cell today. I was pretty upset. I must like her. She is staying in oakland, for now, at least, staying with her sister who just had a baby. It felt like a paper cut on my eyes, reminded me of the endless bullshit with R. But maybe not, could be different.

How does all this relate to vr, nano, I dunno.

Staying out of relationships, in order to maintain that autonomy, for the story, the narrative, this language. To be authentic. An odd idea, extreme, yeah. Oh yeah. Where is the linearity, how do we find it?
Happily a member of the climbing gym/community, at least moreso, today. Climbing with stoners, wonderful friends, lovely backs all around. Muscles, talking to D., listening to Peter Gabriel, I don’t know how to stop.
As much as I liked being single, dating has a pull. I like someone once I get to know them, let them in. It’s nice, that closeness. Experimental film. Where in the system are we? What nanode? In the virtual wire, high guage, where is it?